Day 4 - Fast? yes please! yet learning day by day what God's plan is.

The days seem to be getting a little easier. I am still overwhelmed, but maybe its just because I am getting used to being overwhelmed and used to not being home and used to not talking to everyone. I still want it to go by fast so I would be bored and start to think about home and Evan. I want to remember this experience, but I want to be done at the same time and go away to school, which I am so excited to do!!

I have to say, of all the days that I thought would be the hardest for me, it really wasn't. Today was the day that Evan left for his camp. I thought that I was going to really be distracted and really be upset about it. For some reason I wasn't as upset and it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. I think it was the fact I know over the next few months, God is going to teach us so much and really bring us closer as individuals and a couple. I was reminded today by a close friend through text, it was ok that I didn't talk to him hardly at all over the next few months because it would be a life changing experience for us both and will end up making us stronger as a couple and individual. He also told me I had nothing to worry about over the summer because of our relationship being as strong as it is. He said if our relationship was strong, then what did I have to worry about? When I read that, I though of what I really had to worry about. I thought about Evan as a person, my boyfriend, and as a servant of God. Evan is so true to me, so he isn't going to cheat on me, he isn't going to do anything that would make me unhappy or upset at him (or try his best not to anyway), he is going to be working, and Above all he is going to be doing Gods work which he was called to do. When I thought about all this, I really had nothing to worry about. Of course being a girl, not talking to him is going to bother me a lot because thats all I want, is to hear his voice every once in a while, but I honestly have nothing to worry about when it comes to our relationship. I was told by another person tonight that he cares way to much for me to lose me and "has it Bad" enough that even when I think he doesn't care or isn't missing me, that he really will be and that he might not want to show it in a letter because he doesn't want to disappoint me and say the wrong thing, that he just wants to please me. All of these things meant the world to me. I can't even find the words to express how good this made me feel. (thanks guys if you read this, you know who you are!)

Even though I will be sad & missing him, I know that he will always be my Evan. Even 2 months from today when I get to see him again on our 1 year. God really showed me today to value my relationships even when I don't have contact with them. He showed me its ok not to have contact with someone you love, because if you really mean a lot to them and they mean a lot to you that you have nothing to worry about. He taught me this through some very good friends and people who I admire and look up to.

Which reminds me of 1 reason I am here. To be a servant of God. I am to share his word with Girls, who wouldn't and might not have that chance if they didn't come to Mundo Vista. I can talk about how Evan and others are servants of God, but it took this event and it took my being upset and missing someone who means so much to me, to realize that I too am a servant of God and that he has planned so much for me.

This is the beginning of figuring out why I am here at Mundo.